I was just snuggling Rhett to sleep for nap and thinking about what an amazing blessing he is to us. Both of my boys are unbelievable blessings, obviously, but I was just struck by this sweet boy while rocking him. I was remembering back to when I was first pregnant with him and all of the emotion and fear that I felt. I was scared to let myself be excited or overjoyed because of the miscarriage at 11 wks I had experienced just 3 months prior to getting pregnant with Rhett. Dallas and I prayed and prayed and kept him a secret for 3 long months, but what we really wanted was shout out from the rooftop! I was ashamed of my fear because I know that the bible tells us not to worry, but fear has always been a downfall I've struggled with.
I will never forget the way God showed me that everything would be okay. It was like a precious gift that He handed to me that wiped my fear away. I was 11 weeks pregnant and in a Sunday morning service at church. The service was a moving one on healing, and I have alway struggled with migraines, especially while pregnant. I went up to the front for prayer after service and an older couple, a couple I respect, came to pray with me. I told the woman, Patty, about my headaches and she quickly murmured a prayer that I could barley hear. Then, she took her hand and put it on my stomach (nobody knows I'm pregnant, remember) and she said, "Sarah, God wants you to know that today is a new day, what was yesterday is gone, and today is a new day." I just started sobbing and felt a huge weight lifted off of me, a burden was gone. I knew that Rhett would be born and not lost as the last baby was. I know that God has a specific purpose for his life, one that I can't wait to see. Rhett's due date was October 27th, the very same date that we lost our last baby one year before. God took a horrible experience and turned it into something wonderful, something exciting, He gave us Rhett! Our sweet, loving, snugly baby boy who has stolen our hearts completely.
I'm thankful that I serve a God who cares enough for me that He takes my fear away so I don't have to struggle with worry. A God who loves me enough to help me with something that He's already told me (numerous times throughout the Bible) over and over again. A God who loves me regardless of my unfaithfulness to Him at times, and a God who wrapped His arms of peace around me and comforted me when I lost my sweet baby 2 years ago.