Through all of this I feel extremely blessed. Blessed to have the opportunity to take a step back from what was normal life and see all that I was missing out on, keeping up with and not accomplishing. I was reading past blog posts the other day, and nearly every one of my posts started out saying something like, "Life is busy", "Busy, busy", "Busy as usual" and so on. This isn't how I want to look back raising my kids. I want to soak them in, take it slow and enjoy them. I have missed so so much the past few years. Having my own agenda and own plans for things really stole my time. I don't want to miss opportunities with them.
The great thing about being in a new place with not a person we know is that there are zero expectations of us. We are loving that. Loving the long days and long weekends and all of the one on one time. We took a much needed break from sports this fall, and I'm almost dreading our return to basketball in November. I love sitting down in no hurry after school with my boys to have a snack and go over homework and site words. I love sitting out in the driveway watching them ride their bikes and play with the neighbors. I love having little baking helpers, and popping popcorn on the stove with them every Friday night. Sitting down to dinner with no tv on and getting the low-down on their day. It feels like we've stepped back in time, almost. To a simpler time. We are going to try our very hardest to not get caught up in the busyness that stole our family before. We didn't even know what we were missing, but we were definitely missing it.
Each day with these babies is a gift that God has given me. It's not always easy, but it's easier when I remember that they truly are precious gifts. It's my job to be the best momma I can be for them, and sometimes that means putting my plans and my expectations and agendas on the back burner. I've decided to stop making so many plans. They never work out how I expect anyway. I was thinking today that if God's plans become my plans then I can be okay with anything that ever comes our way. His ways are higher than mine, and He knows the plans He has for us. Society tells us we need our time, our thing, a dream to follow or pursue. For me, I think I just need to rest in His thing and His dream and be their thing for my kiddos. Sometimes (all the time) being a momma is all about being selfless, and putting my things on hold for the ones who need us most. It's so worth it.
It's good to be back.
Sarah
